5.1.06

Observations on my life that have little or no import

1. One of my (managers) has the dubious distinction of being named John Brown. I find this highly distressing because every time someone uses both of his names my mind instantly supplies this phrase: "John Brown's body lies a molderin' in the grave."

2. Pet peeve- turning signal blinkers that blink twice as fast as normal ones. One feels like the car has ADHD or is high on caffeine.

3. The wind patterns across the rear window of my car are fascinating. As I was driving home from work today I noticed them because tiny, wet chunks of snow kept sliding down from the roof and getting trapped on the glass. They would track aimless but rather graceful patterns across the glass, chased by small eddies of wind. Good thing I didn't get into an accident while I was watching them in my rearview mirror.

4. Snow costs money. People have to get paid to plow, people have to fix their cars after they crash because of snow, and in the restaurant business one loses money because you staff the whole place waiting for customers who never show up because of the snow. This restaurant worker was bored all day long because nobody came in. There are only so many things you can do to keep busy if you have to stay by your register. I wiped counters, straightened stacks of paper bags, and restocked pastries repeatedly. Then I was left to contemplate the dust bunnies near the ceiling and talk to the other clerk (who doesn't have the gift of the gab). Thankfully they let me out a half-hour early.

5. I want to read Ann Coulter's book, How to Talk to Liberals (If you Must). The second-hand bookstore down the road has it. I know, because I have seen it on the shelf the last three times I have gone in their. Alas, I haven't the guts to buy it because the title makes me nervous. I don't want to get into a political discussion with the bookshop owner. I also don't want him to get the impression that I think all Liberals (including himself... wait, I don't even know if he is or not) are so foreign, and so illogical, that I need Ann Coulter to tell me how to communicate with them. Maybe he will be offended. How is that for wimpy?

6. Actually, I also don't buy it because I think Andrea has it, and I could always borrow it from her if I really thought I would actually read it.

7. The End.

11 comments:

Kate said...

All English majors or any qualified idividual- Was the way I worded the title of this blog correct, or is there a better, or more correct way to say the same thing?

Booker said...

Read the book! It will fortify your soul with 17 essential vitamins and minerals!

!!!!Ka-Sizzle!!!!

lis said...

Good thing I'm not an English major, because your title question has me stumped.

I loved the post, and am very glad that YOU have the gift of gab! :O)

(That was meant to be flattering, in case you wondered).

Anonymous said...

Katie! I haven't been reading blogs much at all lately, for a number of good reasons, but I just caught up on yours tonight and it was such a treat! Thank you!

And you mustn't be intimidated by said bookseller in said bookshop: he's very friendly towards all of us, knows us all by name, and I'm sure would never dream of criticizing anyone's choice of reading material, much less actually confront you about it.After all, he carries the book to begin with! Not to mention he's not likely to put off any potential customer...

I command you to be bold. But on the other hand, feel free to be frugal and borrow Andrea's copy : )

Anonymous said...

I don't think the alternative ("Observations that have little or no import on my life") is really what you want to say, and in fact does not make sense.

How about, in a sort of poetic confusion, "On my life, observations that have little or no import"?

Or maybe "Observations on my life of little or no import"? Definitely not!!!

No, I think you said it best : )

Kate said...

ha ha! I usually double check my posts before I leave them because I am prone to grammatical and spelling errors. :-) I love how I used 'their' instead of there! Poor Aunt Miriam tried so hard to break me of that habit when I was in middle school.

TripleNine said...

Nice post. I've noticed #2 as well. Kind of crazy.




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Booker said...

Snow stinks. Period...

lis said...

Whatever, Ryu. :O)

Anonymous said...

I keep forgetting that in some places it is REALLY cold, and snowing. Down here, we've been having lovely weather. With the highs in the 50s and 60s on a regular basis. I am still wearing short sleeves!! But then I don't own that many long sleeve shirts to wear anything different. :)

Isaac Demme said...

I quite agree on #2, and if I knew anyone named John Brown I would probably feel the same as #1.